Michele Bachmann Wants To Ban Halloween To Stop Children From Sucking On Satan’s Candy

Michele Bachmann Wants To Ban Halloween To Stop Children From Sucking On Satan’s Candy

by Will Kohler

Michele Bachman wicked witch

Michele (Batshit Crazy) Bachmann, Republican Congressional Representative to Minnesota and founder of the Tea Party Caucus, is at it again. This time she is calling for a ban on Halloween

“This holiday is based in Satanism. It’s a Pagan ritual to worship Satan and call him forth to the earth and the liberal elites have added socialism to it. We are in the end days and we must purify our nation if we are to be welcomed into the kingdom of God.

We have to ban Halloween to save the children. That’s how they indoctrinate them you know. Giving them Satan’s candy sacks. Soon you’ve got a country full of children sucking on Satan’s sacks and thinking liberal thoughts instead of good Christian ones.

From the Free Wood Post (Yes the Free Wood Press is a satire website, but if you didn’t know that and  Bachman is so fracking crazy, you probably believe that this story is true.) 

 

Will Kohler

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